Shiner Holiday Cheer

ABV: 5.4%

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Reactions and Insights
Blech, ugh, way too sweet. A malt lollypop with a fakey fruit coating. It’s like a Jolly Rancher in the form of beer.

Would I drink a case of it? 
NO.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
No. I made Dad taste it and he liked it a lot, so I poured him half a glass. He was eating chocolate at the time. He said it’s the only holiday beer he’s ever liked, but he would only drink one of them. He believes he liked it because it complemented the chocolate.

My initial reaction was very negative, but as with other holiday styles, I don’t actually mind sipping it. Except immediately after sipping it.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
A tiny bit, mostly thanks to the label.

Beth’s Grade
4.0

Objective Grade
6.5

Label Notes
This is a very Christmas-y label with great retro fonts and colors, as well as some mistletoe and sparkle shapes. 9/10.

Red Hook Winter Hook #30

ABV: 6.0%

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Reactions and Insights
My main impression is of hops. I have a sore throat now and it’s kind of making it hard to taste things, but hoppiness is always a comfort. For a while my favorite beer was Red Hook IPA, and this is clearly a cousin of that.

Would I drink a case of it? 
Yes. I might start getting bored with it after a week or so, but I wouldn’t have any regrets.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
No, but after three more I’m betting it would.

Beth’s Grade
8.5

Objective Grade
I can’t tell.

Label Notes
The label looks like a knitted holiday sweater. It’s got a skier on it. I say FABU.

KCCO Black Lager

ABV: 5.1%

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Reactions and Insights
Oh, this is nice. It’s tastes like a porter but is a little bit watery, which makes for good sipping while you’re doing something else. And with such a low ABV I don’t feel the slightest bit tipsy — a positive when I’m opening a beer at 3 p.m. on a workday. I also like that there’s pretty much no aftertaste. So it’s a little bland, but bland suits my Advent Calendar situation.

Would I drink a case of it? 
Maybe…if I also had another case that I could rotate it with. But that’s too many cases. So no.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Yeah, totally.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
Not really. That might be because it’s more in line with something I would drink during any old non-holiday time.

Beth’s Grade
8.0

Objective Grade
7.75

Label Notes
This is a very attractive label. I want to pet the ostrich’s feathery tail, and then I want to pet the curves on the Cs and O. They would bounce back in a satisfying way.

 

Evil Genius Naughty or Nice?

ABV: 5.7%

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Reactions and Insights
This is not something I would normally like, but for whatever reason it’s hitting the spot today. It’s kind of like a coffee-flavored soda. There’s something dirty about it, like dirt from the earth dirty, not sexual dirty. I guess that’s the “naughty” part. The “nice” part is that it’s sweet. But it doesn’t hit too heavy in either direction, therefore the “or.”

Would I drink a case of it? 
No.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Yes, I believe I would, while watching a holiday movie on the Hallmark Channel. Except I don’t have the Hallmark Channel (or Lifetime, or ABC Family) anymore so it would be on Netflix, which would mean that I specifically chose it from a list rather than just happening to stumble upon it, so I might feel a little bad about myself. And feeling bad has nothing to do with the holidays. So I guess I have to cough up an extra $30/month for a better cable plan.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
Sort of, but I was dealing with a work emergency while I drank it and ended up not really paying attention to it. And now it’s almost gone, boo hoo.

Beth’s Grade
7.0

Objective Grade
7.75

 

New Belgium Frambozen

ABV: 6.5%

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Reactions and Insights
Wow, this tastes like raspberries. I mean, duh. But it’s like drinking a raspberry-flavored caramel candy.

It’s actually very well balanced. It hits you up front and then mellows out very fast. I don’t really like raspberries or maltiness in beer, but this does not at all offend me. I started drinking it 42 minutes ago and have two solid swigs left, so its weirdness is helping me pace myself. But whenever I do drink it, it is not unpleasant.

Would I drink a case of it? 
No.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
No. Well, maybe, but it would be the thing that I’d drink after I’d had all the other beers in the fridge. There should be a term for this.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
Yes.

Another thing that contributed to my holiday spirit was watching ice skating on NBC last night. Tara Lipinski was one of the commentators, but Johnny Weir wasn’t there, so there was some other guy who kept trying to be funny with her and it wasn’t working. She was being nice about it, but I know she was secretly thinking, “Just stop, this is pathetic.” Chemistry cannot be fabricated.

Beth’s Grade
5.75

Objective Grade
8.25