Kerstmutske Christmas Nightcap

ABV: 7.4%
Style: Belgian Strong Dark Ale

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Reactions and Insights
Yup, a holiday beer, with molasses and coffee the way they do it. I was apparently supposed to drink it at the end of the evening, based on its name, but I instead made it a starter.

Would I drink a case of it? 
No, and I can’t imagine who would, really. It’s only available during the holiday season so you’d need to be committed to this particular flavor.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
No, but it’s not bad. I drank it fast, partly because it was fun and partly because I wanted to move on to something else.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
Yes! I drank it while celebrating Hanukkah with Andy’s family. Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, good night!

Beth’s Grade
7.0

Objective Grade
7.75

Label Notes
It’s charming, with its moon sliver in a Santa cap and casual handwritten fonts. It feels like the sign on a local hardware store or some other mom and pop place you’re afraid is going to close. 7/10

Einstök Ölgerð Icelandic Toasted Porter

ABV: 6.0%
Style: American Porter

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Reactions and Insights
Yum. A solid, chocolatey porter. Andy was into this one, too, so I generously gave him a very small glass of it.

Would I drink a case of it? 
Porters are not my go-to thing, even though I like them a lot. If I were someone who took a drink with me to bed, I would take scotch. But if I were to take beer to bed, it would be porter or milk stout because they’re comforting and sleep-inducing. Anyway, to answer the question, no.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Yeah, I would. This gift is making me think about what my ideal beer supply would be. Porter should definitely be represented and this is a good one.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
It sure did. I drank it while decorating the Christmas tree. Its mellow, dark flavor was a nice complement to the Oscar Peterson Christmas record.

Beth’s Grade
8.5

Objective Grade
8.5

Label Notes
Spare and clean and vikinged, evocative of my impressions of Iceland. 8/10

Arcadia Sky High Rye

ABV: 6.0%
Style: Rye Pale Ale

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Reactions and Insights
I think this was added as a break from all the holiday ales. Thanks, Chris. It’s a very standard, reliable rye pale ale, with a bitter beginning and a fruity end. It’s a little more bitter than I’d prefer, but it’s very drinkable.

Would I drink a case of it? 
If it were part of a variety pack, maybe.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Sure, but it would be a six-pack someone else brought over on movie night.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
No, and I didn’t expect it to.

Beth’s Grade
7

Objective Grade
7

Label Notes
It is a pretty direct ripoff of this 1937 poster. I like the style but I can’t condone the plagiarism. No grade.

Brooklyn Blast! Ale

ABV: 8.4%
Style: American Double/Imperial IPA

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Reactions and Insights
First impression: Oh, it’s such a Brooklyn Brewery beer, that’s so cute. I know that’s condescending in an “aw, grandmothers” kind of way, but the brewery couldn’t hear me think it, so it’s okay. It’s just got that extra flavor thing that says “Brooklyn Brewery.” I can’t describe it. It’s just some extra little flavor.

Second impression: Holy crap, this is GOOD. And it keeps getting better as you drink it, because you keep getting more intoxicated, because it’s 8.4%.

It’s hoppy and real good.

Would I drink a case of it? 
Yeah… but I wouldn’t buy a case of it, because I’d be getting drunk every night.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Mmhmm.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
No, mostly because I’ve gotten sucked in to watching/listening to many episodes of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. The Alec Baldwin one is particularly good.

But I’m listening to the Tina Fey one right now, and she asks Jerry where his kids “are” with Christmas, like do they believe in Santa, and he says, “Well, we’re Jewish,” but then he starts talking about how he was obsessed with Christmas trees as a kid, and I’m planning to get a Christmas tree tonight.

The Tina Fey one is good, too.

Beth’s Grade
9

Objective Grade
9

Label Notes
Very classay. One of the very first websites I worked on in 2000 used the same cursive font. It was for a financial firm in Manhattan. Those were different times.

But back to the label. Uh, 7/10.

Does Jerry own all of these cars? Does he own like a hundred cars?

UPDATE: I think the cars are borrowed.

Southern Tier 2XMAS

ABV: 8.0%

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Reactions and Insights
This is intense. It smells strongly of Christmas-y spices and tastes like all those spices plus figs and maybe dark cherries. It’s got a nice, complex flavor. It’s not something that makes you keep wanting to drink and drink, but when you pick it up you think, “Oh yeah, I get to taste this again. Awesome.” My only complaint is that it leaves your mouth feeling kind of dry and stale.

From the label:
Ale brewed with figs, orange peels, and spices, 2 varieties of hops, 4 types of malts.

It totally tastes like all of that.

Would I drink a case of it? 
No, it’s 2 much 2XMAS for a whole case.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Sure, this would be fun to have around. If I see it in my local market I might pick up a six-pack.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
Yes, it pretty aggressively did.

Beth’s Grade
8.75

Objective Grade
8.75

Label Notes
It’s clean in an early 2000s kind of way. It’s got nice colors. I don’t love the Southern Tier logo, and there are five different fonts used, but for all of that it isn’t bad. 6/10

Starr Hill Snow Blind Doppelbock

ABV: 7.4%

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Reactions and Insights
Kind of a caramel flavor, slightly chocolatey, definitely sweet. It’s like eating milk chocolate when you want dark chocolate — consuming it reminds you of how it could be better.

Would I drink a case of it? 
No, it’s not my thing.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Nah… but as has happened with other beers in this series, it wasn’t hard to drink. I didn’t know the ABV until I looked it up just now. It definitely didn’t feel like it was that high in alcohol.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
Not really, but maybe it would if I had been more open to the idea of the holiday spirit penetrating my soul.

Beth’s Grade
5.5

Objective Grade
7.0

Label Notes
The label looks like it was designed by a kid in high school who’s really into skiing and Pink Floyd. You can’t quite tell what a mess it is from the photo, so just trust me. 2/10

Shiner Holiday Cheer

ABV: 5.4%

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Reactions and Insights
Blech, ugh, way too sweet. A malt lollypop with a fakey fruit coating. It’s like a Jolly Rancher in the form of beer.

Would I drink a case of it? 
NO.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
No. I made Dad taste it and he liked it a lot, so I poured him half a glass. He was eating chocolate at the time. He said it’s the only holiday beer he’s ever liked, but he would only drink one of them. He believes he liked it because it complemented the chocolate.

My initial reaction was very negative, but as with other holiday styles, I don’t actually mind sipping it. Except immediately after sipping it.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
A tiny bit, mostly thanks to the label.

Beth’s Grade
4.0

Objective Grade
6.5

Label Notes
This is a very Christmas-y label with great retro fonts and colors, as well as some mistletoe and sparkle shapes. 9/10.

Red Hook Winter Hook #30

ABV: 6.0%

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Reactions and Insights
My main impression is of hops. I have a sore throat now and it’s kind of making it hard to taste things, but hoppiness is always a comfort. For a while my favorite beer was Red Hook IPA, and this is clearly a cousin of that.

Would I drink a case of it? 
Yes. I might start getting bored with it after a week or so, but I wouldn’t have any regrets.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
No, but after three more I’m betting it would.

Beth’s Grade
8.5

Objective Grade
I can’t tell.

Label Notes
The label looks like a knitted holiday sweater. It’s got a skier on it. I say FABU.

KCCO Black Lager

ABV: 5.1%

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Reactions and Insights
Oh, this is nice. It’s tastes like a porter but is a little bit watery, which makes for good sipping while you’re doing something else. And with such a low ABV I don’t feel the slightest bit tipsy — a positive when I’m opening a beer at 3 p.m. on a workday. I also like that there’s pretty much no aftertaste. So it’s a little bland, but bland suits my Advent Calendar situation.

Would I drink a case of it? 
Maybe…if I also had another case that I could rotate it with. But that’s too many cases. So no.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Yeah, totally.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
Not really. That might be because it’s more in line with something I would drink during any old non-holiday time.

Beth’s Grade
8.0

Objective Grade
7.75

Label Notes
This is a very attractive label. I want to pet the ostrich’s feathery tail, and then I want to pet the curves on the Cs and O. They would bounce back in a satisfying way.

 

Evil Genius Naughty or Nice?

ABV: 5.7%

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Reactions and Insights
This is not something I would normally like, but for whatever reason it’s hitting the spot today. It’s kind of like a coffee-flavored soda. There’s something dirty about it, like dirt from the earth dirty, not sexual dirty. I guess that’s the “naughty” part. The “nice” part is that it’s sweet. But it doesn’t hit too heavy in either direction, therefore the “or.”

Would I drink a case of it? 
No.

OK, but would I drink a six-pack of it?
Yes, I believe I would, while watching a holiday movie on the Hallmark Channel. Except I don’t have the Hallmark Channel (or Lifetime, or ABC Family) anymore so it would be on Netflix, which would mean that I specifically chose it from a list rather than just happening to stumble upon it, so I might feel a little bad about myself. And feeling bad has nothing to do with the holidays. So I guess I have to cough up an extra $30/month for a better cable plan.

Did it contribute to my holiday spirit?
Sort of, but I was dealing with a work emergency while I drank it and ended up not really paying attention to it. And now it’s almost gone, boo hoo.

Beth’s Grade
7.0

Objective Grade
7.75